On Friday night, I went to a comedy gig in a large arena. I lasted less than 20 minutes before walking out in disgust and frustration, as the comedian spent his set punching down and making 'jokes' about women, the LGBTQIA+ community, sexual assault, overweight people and anyone else he could think of.
The worst part wasn't even the jokes, it was the uproarious laughter and squeals of delight from the people around me as their darkest thoughts were spoken aloud and turned into entertainment.
It was vile, and I left in a head-spin. Are things still this bad? Do we still get a kick out of hurting others for fun? I hope not. I walked out, and I should have walked out sooner.
I'm good at walking out. Truth is: I'm rash. I make snap decisions on gut feeling, and sometimes that comes back to bite me. I've put myself in more unavoidably difficult situations than I can count by doing that, and I'm bound to do that some more.
I'm trying to get better, and part of that learning process has been working out what to do with my outrage.
Fuelled by the support and input of the hundreds of people who wrote me thoughtful emails and LinkedIn comments, I published a long piece this week on how to manage those kinds of conversations - you might have seen it.
If not, here's the link. I hope you like it.
It's important to make the disclaimer that I researched and wrote this piece to make sense of my own frustration and ineptitude, not to come from a moral high ground. I don't have it personally figured out - far from it. But this is the best way I know how to try!
There's some handy tools in there, and a downloadable infographic. It's long, but it kind of needs to be. I hope you enjoy it.
Til next week,
A
Alicia McKay