Alicia McKay
Get perspective
It feels like our experiences are factual because they’re tangible. If you can see, smell, hear or taste something, it must be real… right? Wrong. Our external world isn’t as objective as it seems. In short, most of what we experience is just a projection of our own sh*t.
Like Google, our mind runs on a series of filters, helpfully sorting through the metric tonne of sensory information available at any given time to present us with relevant results. It's why you've never seen a Skoda Kodiaq until you buy one, and then everyone on the motorway is driving one. You've changed the criteria about what's relevant to you, and your brain is serving you different results to match.
This is great if you’re a good Googler and use the proper search criteria.
But if your criteria are unhelpful - or worse, if they’re unclear, the sorting function doesn’t work. Some things seem more important than they are, while the most critical stuff falls by the wayside.
It’s why you get to the end of a busy day exhausted but wondering what you achieved. In Essentialism (my most gifted client book), Greg McKeown calls this the ‘paradox of leadership’—feeling overwhelmed and underutilised simultaneously.
The thing is, perspective doesn’t work without purpose.
It’s hard to see things for what they really are, if you don’t know who you are or what you care about.
Why purpose matters
McKeown calls this your ‘highest point of contribution.’ Simon Sinek calls it your ‘why.’ Woke mindfulness teachers talk about your ‘calling.’ Call it what you like. The guts is that the minutiae don't seem so relevant when you’ve got your eye on something more meaningful.
Who cares if someone cut you off on the motorway or Ben in Accounting took the wrong tone in his email when you’re focused on building something important?
I don’t know your bigger purpose—maybe it’s saving dolphins with self-esteem issues, bringing sustainability into the workplace, or being a present parent.
It doesn’t matter what it is. It just matters that you have one. People with a clear sense of purpose live more meaningful lives, do better work, and feel better about themselves at the end of a long, challenging day.
Purpose isn’t about changing the world. It’s about using our limited time to do stuff we care about. Discovering your purpose is finding the things you care about that are bigger than you so you can do them more.
How to find your purpose
To cultivate a stronger sense of purpose in your life, try asking some useful questions, like:
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What do you value most?
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What pisses you off? (the reverse is usually a core value for you)
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What change do you most want to see in the world?
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What would you do if you won Lotto? (hint: you can probably do something about that now.)
For more help finding your purpose, check out this free resource pack.
