How to make people listen

When people ask me to help them run workshops and meetings, they often come in with lofty goals. How do I get people to really be in this? To own these outcomes and to take action? How do I get people to put away their siloes, their fears and their issues to make real progress?

Generally, I start with the basics. The very first hurdle is trust. Without it, it doesn’t matter what you have to say, how good your workshop is or how important these problems are. If they don’t trust you, they can’t hear you. If they don’t trust each other, they can’t engage.

The level of influence you have on others is directly proportionate to the level of trust they have in you - and trust is a prize worth having. Teams with high trust produce better results, with fewer resources. Leaders with high trust enjoy the benefit of the doubt every time they enter a new room, have a new idea or approach a new client, customer or employee. Their reputation precedes them - and carefully nurturing that should be a high priority for any strategic leader.

“Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.” – Epictetus

In the consulting world, where I’ve spent much of my career, its often said that you’re only as good as your last job. As a leader, the principle is the same.

Stephen Covey, in The Speed of Trust defines four key elements to establishing credibility:

1. Integrity - being honest, walking the talk

2. Intent - making sure your motives are clearly understood

3. Capabilities – the skills and knowledge to do your job well

4. Results – what we get done.

Covey puts credibility down to two questions:

• Do I trust myself?

• Am I someone others can trust?

If you want to influence others, start with trust. People need you to be consistent, accountable and honest. Then, and only then, they might listen.