The last couple of months have triggered a shift in our understanding of the world.
World Wars, the digital revolution, 9/11, and the GFC are other examples of what Nicholas Taleb calls ‘black swan’ events—game-changers that throw everything up in the air.
It's been pretty stressful, but stress isn't all bad. Acute stress can catalyse transformational change for people, organisations, and communities. When everything feels a bit much, there is a deeper opportunity buried below the surface: the chance to create something different.
With the right mindset, we can grow from this kind of stress. If we stay curious and open to learning, stressful change feels less like a threat and more like a chance to ask nagging questions. Like most things, I find this most obvious when interacting with my children. The moments when parenting has given me pause are when I get an innocent “why?” that stops me in my tracks.
If our heads are in the right space, a well-timed why can be quite confronting. If I take the space to entertain it, a child-prompted why gets me asking things like: 'Does this rule really matter?' 'Is it just a default from my own childhood?' and 'What am I trying to teach?'
Over the last few weeks, I've found myself doing that in my practice and lifestyle.
I've been tripping over assumptions I didn't realise I had, questioning things I thought 'had to be this way' and generally trying to stay curious and open to new things. The last few weeks have opened up more profound questions about what we're trying to achieve and the kind of life we want. I don't want to return to spending three days a week on a plane. I don't want to keep redoing strategy with teams. I want to support them in building their skills and confidence to make those decisions themselves. It's a new frame for us: leverage, connection and development.
Three questions to rule them all
It all starts with asking better questions. Here are my favourite three:
Why? (ask this one as often as you need to until you get to a root cause or a constraint you can't move. Aim for 5.)
So what? (Keep asking this one until you understand your needs or drivers or until people become exasperated with you. Aim for 3.)
Really, though? (ask this one with the inflection of an obstinate teenager until you admit how many things you're assuming and taking for granted.)
Those are my favourites- what are yours?
What questions do you ask to dig below the surface?
Alicia McKay