Alicia McKay Blog

How to spend your Anzac Monday — Alicia McKay NZ

Written by Alicia McKay | Apr 26, 2020 12:00:00 PM

We get a bonus "weekend" day this week. You might be tempted to treat it as a normal Monday, because what even are public holidays right now? Or, you might give yourself the latitude to slump in front of Netflix for the day.

Both of those choices are a mistake.

Decision fatigue is hitting us like a ton of bricks, and it makes sense. 

  • The stakes of our decisions are higher than before. We carry the weight of the world on our shoulders every time we think about going out for milk, much less what to do at work

  • All the stuff that used to be on autopilot keeps requiring us to think 

  • We used to outsource our children for at least 6 hours a day. The mental and logistical load been brought back in-house

  • Our normal coping strategies aren't accessible: hitting the gym, meeting a friend for a drink, going to a movie, mountain biking

  • The lines between work, family and home have blurred so intensely we’re struggling to look after ourselves. 

With decision fatigue, we're more stressed and less productive. We snap at others, have unexplained headaches, tire easily and make impulse choices. Sometimes we're incapable of making decisions at all. It's exhausting.

As NZ moves into Level 3 this week, we face extra decisions: 

Should we extend our bubble to another house?
Can we go to the shops now? Should we?
When will we bring people back to the office?
Should we hit pause on this project, or accelerate it?

Should we send our kids to school?

In this extra uncertainty, we need to be careful.

When we're fatigued, it's harder to self-regulate. Feelings become more intense, so minor frustrations become more irritating, and our impulse to eat, drink, spend and say stupid things to feel more powerful gets stronger.

It gets hard to focus. Self-doubt creeps in for even minor decisions. Worse: we become more selfish, even when we don’t realise it. Feeling mentally depleted and overwhelmed makes it hard to be empathetic.

On Friday afternoon, I found myself standing at the fridge close to tears, incapable of picking out ingredients for a meal. After a long week and a big day, it felt easier to just skip dinner entirely.

I’m holding a lot of space right now – for my practice, my staff, my children, my partner, and the leadership teams I work with. I’m working with big decisions and future planning - and when I find myself snapping at my kids, or struggling to pick a standing desk, I know I'm in the fatigue zone.

This is totally normal and expected. Mental energy is finite. Willpower and self-regulation are the first things to switch off to conserve energy, because they require long-term perspective... and we’re already full with the short-term.

With low mental energy, we default to the path of least resistance; the status quo. But for those of us holding space for the future of others - our teams, families and communities - the status quo won't cut it.

It's going to be a big week. Spend your "bonus day" getting your sh*t together for the week, to make the most of your mental bandwidth. 

On Monday

  • Visually plan your week. Put your week on the wall. Identify milestones and important meetings, write your list of what needs to happen for each one, and block out the time for preparation. 

  • Premortem. Look at what might go wrong and which days are overscheduled. Write down how you’ll prepare for and manage those risks.

  • Make commitments, not decisions. Remove decisions from yourself. When you're tired, deciding when to go to bed or remembering phone calls is wasted energy.  Decide now and schedule it in your calendar.

  • Prioritise. Long to-do lists make it less likely you will achieve the important stuff. Rank your list, remove at least the bottom third and immediately execute. Write the emails now, explaining why timeframes have moved or things won’t be happening.

  • Simplify and automate. Do things the same way, at the same time. Have the same thing for breakfast every day. Have your team stand-up at the same time each morning. 

  • Make self-care choices. Decide what you’re eating, when you’re exercising and how you’ll relax. My 14 year old and I prepped a week’s worth of meals today. I booked in a week’s worth of F45 and I’ve got a nightly bath on the agenda. Do what works for you.

  • Schedule important decisions early in the day. Avoid complicated or critical meetings after 1pm. If you have tough calls to make, do it before lunch. Use afternoons for creativity and admin. You still have time to readjust your calendar for the week, do it now.

Every day this week

  • Make decisions the night before. What you’re going to wear, how your day looks, what you’re going to do first, who you’re going to talk to.

  • Don’t skip meals. Our decision-making improves significantly with level blood sugar.

  • Talk to people about how you’re feeling. It normalises their own load and leaves you feeling more capable.

  • Plan for interruptions. Then readjust your timeframes and priorities to be more reasonable.

  • Be ready to adjust. No plan survives first contact with the enemy. The value is in the planning, not rigid implementation.

You’ll still hear from me on Wednesday. This just felt too important to wait.

Be nice to yourself. You’re doing great.

-A